Cheapskate bridesmaid refuses to contribute to best friend’s bachelorette party even after convincing bride to scale down from Paris trip to a lake house weekend

Giuliana Tiscioni • Writer

Jul 28, 2026 7:15 AM EDT

Should the bride alone pay for everything at the bachelorette party, or should expenses be shared with her friends?

Weddings and bachelorette parties can get very expensive. Between the shoes, the dress, the hair and make-up, the gifts, and who knows what else, a lot of money is needed. Some brides have crazy expectations for their parties, and not everyone can meet them.

A bridesmaid shared on r/bridesmaids her story, describing the crazy demands from her best friend, who is about to get married. The bride wanted to go to Paris for her bachelorette, and her friend explained to her that it was not realistic, no one could actually afford it, and convinced her to do a weekend at the bride's lake house. So far, so good, but the next part of the story is at least questionable. The friend refused to pay for decorations, a night out for dinner, groceries for the weekend at the lake, and made the bride pay for absolutely everything for her and the rest of the guests. No one paid for accommodation, food, or presents.

At first glance, it is understandable that not everybody has the same budget to pay for everything that goes into a bachelorette, and it sounds unfair when a bride demands that her friends spend a fortune. However, in this case, the bride completely disregarded her original over-the-top plans and settled on something suitable for everybody. She was perfectly reasonable.

What doesn't sound reasonable is her having to pay for everything for a bunch of people just because. The dinner could have been split among everyone. Each of them could have brought a little something to contribute to the decoration of the house, and the groceries they ALL shared. That way it wouldn't have been a burden to anybody.

What seems to be happening here is a severe case of what experts call "envy." The bridesmaid says the bride is rich, her parents are rich and don't have money issues, so it's okay for them to pay for everyone, since they can afford it. The thing is, what's fair for one is fair for all. It's unfair for a bride to demand her friends spend a fortune, but it is also unfair for a bridesmaid to refuse to contribute with ANYTHING and force the bride to pay for everything.

What do you think? Should the bridesmaids contribute something when brides ask for reasonable things, or should they always take care of absolutely everything on their own?

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Cheezburger Image 10650558208 — *Bride standing along her bridesmaids.*
*_{Subjects are models.}*

PSA: you can and should be brutally upfront with the bride about her ridiculous expectations

I love reading these crazy posts that are posted daily about ridiculously extravagant bach trips, expenses, etc. I've been a bridesmaid seven times and am all too familiar with these crazy demands and expectations.

A word of advice as someone who was SO OVER the expenses, expectations, etc...and trust me, I'd spent years avoiding this convo because I was afraid of ruining friendships.

Last year I came to the end of my rope with this stuff. I straight-up told my best friend (the bride) that her ideas were completely out of line (Paris; we are from the states), and that

even if all her friends agreed to go (they wouldn't), everyone would be talking sh about the cost, the time off expected, etc. I told her about this sub and all the posts. I told

her no one wants stupid Bach-themed swag. And then I told her how to have a Bach that would, in my estimation, be a joyful and EASY experience that wouldn't infringe on people's finances and time.

She decided to host the party at her family friends lake house, about 1.5 hours from the city where most of the attendees lived. The house was free for everyone. I had to fly in but was happy to make the trip because there were no other costs involved.

Cheezburger Image 10650558976 — *Lake house.*
*_{Image is a recreation.}*

I straight-up told her I didn't want to pay for any decorations or swag, and neither would any of the other girls. I said, if this is important to you, give me your credit card and I will

order everything you want on Amazon. For swag, I suggested custom Etsy cotton pajamas with each girls name on them. Something we would all actually USE beyond the wedding.

We decided on one meal out. I told her no one wants to split the cost of a fancy restaurant with people they barely know. We worked together with a more casual restaurant to create a family style menu instead. The bride and her husband paid for the whole dinner.

The rest of the weekend we spent at the house eating groceries/meals the bride paid for. We did ONE activity (wine tasting) that was entirely optional. The girls who didn't want to go stayed at the house and chilled at the lake. The rest of us were happy to pay for the wine tasting.

Because the Bach was so close to their city, a few girls came for the day only (preg nt) or only one night instead of two, or popped in for the dinner.

At the end of the weekend everyone left feeling so excited and loving towards the bride, who had just HOSTED her friends. The vibes were high and there was zero resentment going into the wedding. The girls all bonded.

That's how you host a bachelorette: make it easy for the GUESTS. Rant over.

bride to be — *Bachelorette party.*
*_{Image is stock.}*

rosebudny This is the way it should be. Although I don't think it would have been unreasonable to split the cost of groceries for the weekend (especially since accommodations were free), and/or dinner out one night.

IvyJane5 Okay tbh I see your point but if I was the bride, I would feel so hurt by this whole thing. I hope you were nicer in real life because if you spoke to me like that I would be crushed and probably do whatever you said just because I felt so embarrassed.

Paris is ridiculous I can see that, but you guys could've each thrown $10-20 towards nice decor for her on her special weekend. You sound like an a h le tbh

Physical_Cod_8329 I think there's a middle ground between going to another country and expecting the bride to foot the bill for everyone. In my opinion the key is that the bridesmaids are supposed to plan the bachelorette and it was their gift to the bride. Somewhere along the way brides started planning them and that's when costs started getting out of hand.

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Cheapskate bridesmaid refuses to contribute to best friend’s bachelorette party even after convincing bride to scale down from Paris trip to a lake house weekend

Should the bride alone pay for everything at the bachelorette party, or should expenses be shared with her friends?

PSA: you can and should be brutally upfront with the bride about her ridiculous expectations

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